That Time of the Month

As you may very well know, today is March 31st. The last day of the month. The last day of the month means, for us renters, that we owe money (a lot of money) to a certain landlord. But why? That is the question I want to ask all landlords across the nation. Why should we pay rent? The entire cast of "Rent", with the exception of Taye Diggs, spent an entire 135 minutes singing about how they refuse to pay _ _ _ _. Ok, they also sing a lot about disease, but HIV is not the title of the play/movie.

I am sick of it. I'm not going to pay rent this month. But I will, when my landlord comes searching for me, climb out onto my balcony, light my eviction notice on fire and throw it down upon them. I will also sing at the top of my lungs in an angry manner. "I'M NOT GONNA PAAAYY RRRREEEEENNNNNTTTT!"

Side note: None of this will happen and I will most likely send over a check tomorrow. Woe is me.

Slap That On Your Fridge

This passed semester has not been a productive one. I believe the word I am looking for here is "senioritis". Man, do I have it big time. I am aware that should I fail even one class, there will be no graduation for me, but it doesn't seem to provoke me to do anything about it. My poor political science class got the boot from my attention a while ago. The last time our entire class met, we were asked to pick a book/group to join. As you now know, I wasn't paying attention and I didn't even know what the options were. A girl across the room announced that she wanted to read Conservative Reformers, and then my name was called. "Um. Conservative Reformers?" I didn't know what else to say. To this day I don't know the name of our other choice. So, we Conservative Reformers reader were attending class, while the other half had a few weeks off. I didn't even know what the book was about until a week before the exam. I can be honest, right? Having done not so well on the previous test, I spent a lot of time just trying to get myself to read it. I decided to wait until my professor gave the list of terms to know, and then I would study. Well, he gave them out on Thursday, which meant I had until class Tuesday to learn them all. Friday: I did not study. Saturday and Sunday: Who studies? Monday: I studied for 10 minutes. Tuesday: I skipped my class right before to study. In total, I spent about an hour and 20 minutes. I went to class feeling overwhelmingly confident. I was asking my classmates questions about all the terms, just to make sure I was right, and began to feel worried when they all started giving me answers I had not come up with. Too late. The test was being handed out. Oh God Oh God Oh God was all I was thinking the entire time. 

I received my grade about 10 minutes ago, and I must confess that I feel sorry for everyone else in my class because...I got an A! BOOM goes the dynamite! I feel like being extra productive tonight! Unfortunately, Gossip Girl is all new tonight and I can't sacrifice that. Maybe someday I'll change.

Oh, hey there!

Where have I been? I don't know. I know you have been agonizing over what my next blog will be, and waiting impatiently for it to arrive. Well, I have nothing really. Now, if you are thinking "Ok, Irem. I know you spend hours and hours and hours sitting in front of your computer," well then, you would be correct. However, it seems as though my professors had a secret meeting to see how hard they can make it for me to get my homework done by making aaa llottt due at once. I forgive you, professors. 

I do have a lot I would like to talk about, but an overwhelming need for a nap just hit and I should obey myself. I will say this. I have spent most of the day thinking about how much I miss Istanbul, and how worried I am that I will not be able to make the trip this summer. I mean, with all the job offers I have been getting...surely I will be too busy. (Enter eye roll here) 

So, here is a picture (Unedited. I don't know where the edited one is exactly, and, as you know, I need a nap) I took from a boat in Istanbul. Now you can all understand why I miss it. 

Road Rage

I have it. You have it. We all have it. Road rage. The funny thing about road rage is that the things that piss us off the most tend to be things we do ourselves. Ohhh, I know. It's OK when you are doing it, right? Wrong. Let me explain. As I was cruising at a consistent speed of 82mph (Sorry, Mom. I know it's too fast. I was driving safely, I promise) today down I-65, I saw a sign that said "Right Lane Ends Ahead". I checked my phone to see how bad the traffic was. Naturally, it was red. Why don't people get over when they need to get over? Then no one would have to be at a complete stop. One minute after looking down at my phone, I was at a complete stop. For at least 7 minutes. To the right of me, people were zooming by. "Ooohh good for you!" I say. Now, if you know me at all, you are very aware of my road rage. I calmed myself today because of this: (which is actually what I have been trying to get at) I stare into the car in front of me, and see a man. Only, he might have been an octopus/alien because his arms were all over the place. This guy is mmaaddd. It's clear he's shouting, even though I can't hear him. I bet he was saying things like, "Oh you think you're SO smart, don't you? Cutting everyone." "I hope you die of guilt for all the time you are making me waste, waiting for you to get over!" These are things I might have said. I'm sure his sentences were shorter. A very intense two words, perhaps? Or just one finger that says it all. So, ok. This guy is going nutso. Next minute, he turns around and glances past my car. What's he gonna do? Yep, he did it. He gets over into the right lane and zooms past everyone on the left. What A Jerk! "Zoom" might not be the best word to use because he pulled to the right just before the cones appeared. No one was letting the poor man in. He was stuck. I was the nice one. But really, I was saying out loud, "I know you're embarrassed about what you've just done, sir. Go ahead. Go on. It's our little secret." I didn't even get a "thank you" hand wave. I hope he dies of embarrassment. 

Fear

I gave up an opportunity to introduce Laurie Lindeen (see two blogs below) because of my glossophobia, or fear of speaking in public. I started to think of other fears that have ruined my life. Achluophobia, fear of darkness. Whenever I am in the dark, alone, I suddenly don't feel alone anymore. There have been numerous occasions where I would run from my car to my mother's house at night because it was dark out. Actually, running just makes the whole situation scarier than necessary. Astrophobia, fear of thunder and lightning. This might not be SO intense that I could call myself astrophobic. However, I have never been able to gave out the window, and enjoy a storm like the rest of normal society. Philophobia, fear of falling in love. Love is a scary thing. No offense, Kyle. Atychiphobia, fear of failure. Oh, come on. Don't we ALL have this? Ergophobia, fear of work. Why don't I have this?!? I wonder if I could draw unemployment if I complained of my intense ergophobia. Someone try that out and get back to me. Polyphobia, fear of many things. There you go. That pretty much sums it all up.  

All of these phobias were pulled, by me, from phobialist.com. If you have better names for any of them, let me know. My advice to you: Don't make up phobia names. It will make you look stupid. 

Ex: Me "Fear of Halloween? Who has that?"

My co-worker/boss/editor/??  "Is that called Booophobia?"

The Botanical Garden of Washington D.C.

I woke up this morning, and thought "I don't have to work. I don't have class. What should I do?"Don't give me that look. I don't do my homework until right before bed. I began to contemplate what I should write about today. My WWIII theory? (Oh yes, she's comin') How badly I want to write a memoir? (That would just be procrastinating actually writing the memoir) So, I'll just put up a few pictures that brightened up my day a bit. I hope they do the same for you!

Writing Provocation/Book Review-ish

Lately I get these weird feelings inside me whenever I read, whether it's The Black Book by Orhan Pamuk (which I'm reading now) or Conservative Reformers: The Republican Freshman and the Lessons of the 104th Congress (which I'm reading now...as well.) The feeling I get, is that I suddenly feel prompted to put down the book, and write, which is basically what I'm doing now after reading a bit of Conservative Reformers.

I felt compelled to write "My Nation's Capital" (scroll down for more detail) while I was reading Petal Pusher: A Rock and Roll Cinderella Story by Laurie Lindeen. I was just discussing this book in my Advanced Creative Nonfiction Writing class (yes, I'm a badass) and I want people, outside of my class, to know how I felt about this book. I am also hoping that, while writing this, I will get discussion ideas for next Thursday, when I will actually have the opportunity to meet Lindeen. (Who is married to Paul Westerberg!!!) 

Petal Pusher is the perfect combination of wittiness, sarcasm and harsh honesty that I aspire to have in anything I write. She is not only trying to find herself and a place to call home, but she is also in charge of a rock band. Even though I have no desire to be in a rock band, everything about her life is relatable. Her ability to deglamorize and de-dramatize everything is genius. She takes you on multiple journeys throughout the book that, against all odds, have something to do with each other. Her terrific timing of when to be funny and when to be serious gave me the ability to know her more than I've known any other memoirist. Her very wise decision to leave the band and begin writing is something you will agree with me on if you Youtube Zuzu's Petals, and then read this. In conclusion, if you have time to spare, read this book. It will provoke you to write in ways you never thought possible.