That Time of the Month

As you may very well know, today is March 31st. The last day of the month. The last day of the month means, for us renters, that we owe money (a lot of money) to a certain landlord. But why? That is the question I want to ask all landlords across the nation. Why should we pay rent? The entire cast of "Rent", with the exception of Taye Diggs, spent an entire 135 minutes singing about how they refuse to pay _ _ _ _. Ok, they also sing a lot about disease, but HIV is not the title of the play/movie.

I am sick of it. I'm not going to pay rent this month. But I will, when my landlord comes searching for me, climb out onto my balcony, light my eviction notice on fire and throw it down upon them. I will also sing at the top of my lungs in an angry manner. "I'M NOT GONNA PAAAYY RRRREEEEENNNNNTTTT!"

Side note: None of this will happen and I will most likely send over a check tomorrow. Woe is me.

Slap That On Your Fridge

This passed semester has not been a productive one. I believe the word I am looking for here is "senioritis". Man, do I have it big time. I am aware that should I fail even one class, there will be no graduation for me, but it doesn't seem to provoke me to do anything about it. My poor political science class got the boot from my attention a while ago. The last time our entire class met, we were asked to pick a book/group to join. As you now know, I wasn't paying attention and I didn't even know what the options were. A girl across the room announced that she wanted to read Conservative Reformers, and then my name was called. "Um. Conservative Reformers?" I didn't know what else to say. To this day I don't know the name of our other choice. So, we Conservative Reformers reader were attending class, while the other half had a few weeks off. I didn't even know what the book was about until a week before the exam. I can be honest, right? Having done not so well on the previous test, I spent a lot of time just trying to get myself to read it. I decided to wait until my professor gave the list of terms to know, and then I would study. Well, he gave them out on Thursday, which meant I had until class Tuesday to learn them all. Friday: I did not study. Saturday and Sunday: Who studies? Monday: I studied for 10 minutes. Tuesday: I skipped my class right before to study. In total, I spent about an hour and 20 minutes. I went to class feeling overwhelmingly confident. I was asking my classmates questions about all the terms, just to make sure I was right, and began to feel worried when they all started giving me answers I had not come up with. Too late. The test was being handed out. Oh God Oh God Oh God was all I was thinking the entire time. 

I received my grade about 10 minutes ago, and I must confess that I feel sorry for everyone else in my class because...I got an A! BOOM goes the dynamite! I feel like being extra productive tonight! Unfortunately, Gossip Girl is all new tonight and I can't sacrifice that. Maybe someday I'll change.

Oh, hey there!

Where have I been? I don't know. I know you have been agonizing over what my next blog will be, and waiting impatiently for it to arrive. Well, I have nothing really. Now, if you are thinking "Ok, Irem. I know you spend hours and hours and hours sitting in front of your computer," well then, you would be correct. However, it seems as though my professors had a secret meeting to see how hard they can make it for me to get my homework done by making aaa llottt due at once. I forgive you, professors. 

I do have a lot I would like to talk about, but an overwhelming need for a nap just hit and I should obey myself. I will say this. I have spent most of the day thinking about how much I miss Istanbul, and how worried I am that I will not be able to make the trip this summer. I mean, with all the job offers I have been getting...surely I will be too busy. (Enter eye roll here) 

So, here is a picture (Unedited. I don't know where the edited one is exactly, and, as you know, I need a nap) I took from a boat in Istanbul. Now you can all understand why I miss it. 

Road Rage

I have it. You have it. We all have it. Road rage. The funny thing about road rage is that the things that piss us off the most tend to be things we do ourselves. Ohhh, I know. It's OK when you are doing it, right? Wrong. Let me explain. As I was cruising at a consistent speed of 82mph (Sorry, Mom. I know it's too fast. I was driving safely, I promise) today down I-65, I saw a sign that said "Right Lane Ends Ahead". I checked my phone to see how bad the traffic was. Naturally, it was red. Why don't people get over when they need to get over? Then no one would have to be at a complete stop. One minute after looking down at my phone, I was at a complete stop. For at least 7 minutes. To the right of me, people were zooming by. "Ooohh good for you!" I say. Now, if you know me at all, you are very aware of my road rage. I calmed myself today because of this: (which is actually what I have been trying to get at) I stare into the car in front of me, and see a man. Only, he might have been an octopus/alien because his arms were all over the place. This guy is mmaaddd. It's clear he's shouting, even though I can't hear him. I bet he was saying things like, "Oh you think you're SO smart, don't you? Cutting everyone." "I hope you die of guilt for all the time you are making me waste, waiting for you to get over!" These are things I might have said. I'm sure his sentences were shorter. A very intense two words, perhaps? Or just one finger that says it all. So, ok. This guy is going nutso. Next minute, he turns around and glances past my car. What's he gonna do? Yep, he did it. He gets over into the right lane and zooms past everyone on the left. What A Jerk! "Zoom" might not be the best word to use because he pulled to the right just before the cones appeared. No one was letting the poor man in. He was stuck. I was the nice one. But really, I was saying out loud, "I know you're embarrassed about what you've just done, sir. Go ahead. Go on. It's our little secret." I didn't even get a "thank you" hand wave. I hope he dies of embarrassment. 

Fear

I gave up an opportunity to introduce Laurie Lindeen (see two blogs below) because of my glossophobia, or fear of speaking in public. I started to think of other fears that have ruined my life. Achluophobia, fear of darkness. Whenever I am in the dark, alone, I suddenly don't feel alone anymore. There have been numerous occasions where I would run from my car to my mother's house at night because it was dark out. Actually, running just makes the whole situation scarier than necessary. Astrophobia, fear of thunder and lightning. This might not be SO intense that I could call myself astrophobic. However, I have never been able to gave out the window, and enjoy a storm like the rest of normal society. Philophobia, fear of falling in love. Love is a scary thing. No offense, Kyle. Atychiphobia, fear of failure. Oh, come on. Don't we ALL have this? Ergophobia, fear of work. Why don't I have this?!? I wonder if I could draw unemployment if I complained of my intense ergophobia. Someone try that out and get back to me. Polyphobia, fear of many things. There you go. That pretty much sums it all up.  

All of these phobias were pulled, by me, from phobialist.com. If you have better names for any of them, let me know. My advice to you: Don't make up phobia names. It will make you look stupid. 

Ex: Me "Fear of Halloween? Who has that?"

My co-worker/boss/editor/??  "Is that called Booophobia?"

The Botanical Garden of Washington D.C.

I woke up this morning, and thought "I don't have to work. I don't have class. What should I do?"Don't give me that look. I don't do my homework until right before bed. I began to contemplate what I should write about today. My WWIII theory? (Oh yes, she's comin') How badly I want to write a memoir? (That would just be procrastinating actually writing the memoir) So, I'll just put up a few pictures that brightened up my day a bit. I hope they do the same for you!

Writing Provocation/Book Review-ish

Lately I get these weird feelings inside me whenever I read, whether it's The Black Book by Orhan Pamuk (which I'm reading now) or Conservative Reformers: The Republican Freshman and the Lessons of the 104th Congress (which I'm reading now...as well.) The feeling I get, is that I suddenly feel prompted to put down the book, and write, which is basically what I'm doing now after reading a bit of Conservative Reformers.

I felt compelled to write "My Nation's Capital" (scroll down for more detail) while I was reading Petal Pusher: A Rock and Roll Cinderella Story by Laurie Lindeen. I was just discussing this book in my Advanced Creative Nonfiction Writing class (yes, I'm a badass) and I want people, outside of my class, to know how I felt about this book. I am also hoping that, while writing this, I will get discussion ideas for next Thursday, when I will actually have the opportunity to meet Lindeen. (Who is married to Paul Westerberg!!!) 

Petal Pusher is the perfect combination of wittiness, sarcasm and harsh honesty that I aspire to have in anything I write. She is not only trying to find herself and a place to call home, but she is also in charge of a rock band. Even though I have no desire to be in a rock band, everything about her life is relatable. Her ability to deglamorize and de-dramatize everything is genius. She takes you on multiple journeys throughout the book that, against all odds, have something to do with each other. Her terrific timing of when to be funny and when to be serious gave me the ability to know her more than I've known any other memoirist. Her very wise decision to leave the band and begin writing is something you will agree with me on if you Youtube Zuzu's Petals, and then read this. In conclusion, if you have time to spare, read this book. It will provoke you to write in ways you never thought possible. 

Birthdays

So, I'm 23 now. Have been since Friday. On a scale of one to 23 (because all my birthdays have to go somewhere), I would rate this birthday as number 23. To be fair, it'd be safe to say I don't remember about half my birthdays. Not because I was too drunk, but because I was too young. Ok, so I don't remember much of my 21st, but who does? Maybe I just think birthdays are a bigger deal than they actually are. Don't worry, I'm not going to start ranting about how becoming a Jehovah's Witness sounds like a good idea. No offense, to all the Jehovah's Witnesses that follow my blog. Maybe it wasn't a totally awesome birthday because it was on the 13th! Friday the 13th. What a day to celebrate the birth of yourself. Maybe it wasn't totally awesome because I spent five hours on a bus leaving DC (and you all know how much I love DC) and going to New York (which is a cool place). I made my final decision while I was there, that I could never live in NYC and really be happy. Maybe it wasn't totally awesome because Kyle was more interested in meeting up with his friends, than enjoying things like Times Square and Fifth Ave with me, which made me feel very alone and lonely in a city of about 8 million people. But, wah wah boo hoo.

It was a totally awesome birthday because I got to spend the previous night (Thursday) out in DC with a very good friend, and Kyle. (Even though I lost my cell phone...briefly.) It was totally awesome because I got a lot of facebook messages, text messages and phone calls. (Thanks!) It was totally awesome because I found out that my uncle and his wife, aka my aunt, are coming to visit in May. It was also totally awesome because I was out in NYC with a lot of fun people. (I know, I'm a hypocrite) The next day (Saturday) was totally awesome because we went to the Met and there was an amazing photography exhibit. (Even though I lost my chain from Tiffany's...THE Tiffany's somewhere around there.) I also went to an art gallery opening! I recommend not going to New York unless you have one of those lined up. Saturday night was totally awesome because I went to a bar that had a foosball table, and beat everyone with a really nice guy named Will. Actually, I met a lot of pretty cool people. After shopping in Soho, I met Kyle and his peeps at a coffee shop. I felt like I was walking in on a Brooklyn version of "Friends". Kyle, a cute girl named Emily, Adam (Kyle's friend), Will (my foosball buddy) and his super skinny, frighteningly adorable girlfriend, Rachel and me. Three girls, three boys. Emily would be the Monica in that situation because she mentioned more than necessary how much she liked cleaning. Rachel would be Rachel because, well, her name is Rachel. So, I guess that means I'm the Phoebe. Damnit. Ohhh, but Kyle would definitely be the Ross. Such is life. Sometimes birthdays suck, and sometimes they don't suck. Here's to hoping 24 will be completely totally awesome.

My Nation's Capital

After being in Washington D.C. for an entire weekend, and one whole week day, I have came to two conclusions. 1) It's officially my second favorite city in America (The first being San Francisco, and the old second being New York City). 2) I would be willing to do the necessary work to move here, live here and survive here. It's a city where Congressmen meet dancing transvestites. Where a hot dog place allows only President Obama and Bill Cosby to eat for free. Where people make me feel so at home by asking me for directions, and I sadly tell them I have no clue, "but I want to learn!". 

Today was a very typical touristy day for me (and for my week-long roommates cousin, Michael). We exit the metro at Union Station, (the very organized, easy and clean metro might I add), and start at the Capitol Building. After spending a total of five seconds ooh-ing and aah-ing, we move on. "There's the Lincoln Memorial!" Michael disagrees with me. "Look, Michael. I've been here, and you haven't." "No, Irem. It's on the other side of the Monument. There isn't even the reflecting pool." I feel I'm right; it's a curse of mine, really. We head towards the "Lincoln Memorial" look-a-like. It's the Supreme Court. He asks for an apology. I ask for more respect for showing him the building where people make decisions for him. 

Next: Library of Congress. He wants to steal the Constitution, as if he was Nicolas Cage. Instead, he settles on coffee stained paper with a copy of the Constitution written on it. 

Next: Break. (There were lots of these)

Next: Botanical Gardens. Perfect timing; there was an Orchid exhibit. The old man at the entry was the nicest greeter I've ever met. Ok ok, I'm comparing him to Walmart workers. Poor old man was probably volunteering. "I see you have a camera! I'm sure you will enjoy our Orchid exhibit because, well, they are Orchids." 

Next: Michael and I headed towards the Monument, taking a lunch break halfway through. (It is an entire mile from the Capitol to the Monument, mind you. He entertained himself by criticizing my decision to not waste time reading Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings books. I smoked cigarettes.

There is just so much to tell. To make a long story short, after finally finding the Lincoln Memorial, asking a guy where the White House is (doh!), having to go out of our way as not to disrupt the filming of Salt (starring Angelina Jolie!!! OMG OMG), and finally ending our day at Dupont Circle, I have fallen in love. A whole new kind of love that has nothing to do with my previous love blog. But I must admit, for the world to hear (and by hear, I mean read) D.C. made love to me today, and I am hooked. 

Network: It's worth the work.

I met a very interesting man on Monday morning (at 7a.m.) He goes by the name, Tom Britt, and he publishes AtGeist (atgeist.com if you are interested). He plans on launching an AtNoblesville publication, and an AtFishers publication. The more I talked to this guy, the more I decided that I wanted to start a publication of my own. He informed me that while I know about the editorial side of a publication, I haven't a clue about how important it is to sell ads. Ok, ok. I know how important it is, but I don't know how to be successful at it. Guess what? He's going to teach me how! I mean, if I can sell portraits that are overpriced (no offense Prestige, but yeah...you can get a 16x20 on mpix.com for about $15) then surely I can sell ads! 

This all came about because of this business class that I reluctantly signed up for. A Ball State alum came to talk to us about how he got where he is today (selling loans to businesses). So, when he found out that I was in the journalism department, he said, "I know a guy you might be interested in talking to." After class, I waited in the long line to talk to him. We exchanged business cards, and I called Tom the next day. It's amazing...the unexpected yet delightful things that happen.

Twitterverse

I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking about this...

When I was in Rome, I went on this amazing tour of the colosseum and the ruins of the Roman Empire. The tour guide was easily the most entertaining...but then he stopped us to share some bad news. He explained that the colosseum was deteriorating (duh) and that the solution that was thought to be saving this magnificent piece of history, was only making the inevitable happen quicker. Researchers are frantically trying to find a new way to preserve it, but alas they don't have enough funding (this was a few years ago, imagine how much money they don't have now). Anyway, he continued to inform us that Coca-Cola company offered to fund the entire research project, under one condition and one condition only. They must rename the colosseum Coca-Colasseum. HA! And put up a huge banner that says "Coca-Colasseum". HA! over and over again. That was exactly the response these researchers gave to Coke. "No, grazie" maybe they said that, as they trotted off to buy the latest pair of Gucci shoes. 

I imagine a time when the entire universe starts to fall apart. Will Twitter offer to provide funding to researchers to save the other under one condition? I think you know what their one condition might be...