Road Rage

I have it. You have it. We all have it. Road rage. The funny thing about road rage is that the things that piss us off the most tend to be things we do ourselves. Ohhh, I know. It's OK when you are doing it, right? Wrong. Let me explain. As I was cruising at a consistent speed of 82mph (Sorry, Mom. I know it's too fast. I was driving safely, I promise) today down I-65, I saw a sign that said "Right Lane Ends Ahead". I checked my phone to see how bad the traffic was. Naturally, it was red. Why don't people get over when they need to get over? Then no one would have to be at a complete stop. One minute after looking down at my phone, I was at a complete stop. For at least 7 minutes. To the right of me, people were zooming by. "Ooohh good for you!" I say. Now, if you know me at all, you are very aware of my road rage. I calmed myself today because of this: (which is actually what I have been trying to get at) I stare into the car in front of me, and see a man. Only, he might have been an octopus/alien because his arms were all over the place. This guy is mmaaddd. It's clear he's shouting, even though I can't hear him. I bet he was saying things like, "Oh you think you're SO smart, don't you? Cutting everyone." "I hope you die of guilt for all the time you are making me waste, waiting for you to get over!" These are things I might have said. I'm sure his sentences were shorter. A very intense two words, perhaps? Or just one finger that says it all. So, ok. This guy is going nutso. Next minute, he turns around and glances past my car. What's he gonna do? Yep, he did it. He gets over into the right lane and zooms past everyone on the left. What A Jerk! "Zoom" might not be the best word to use because he pulled to the right just before the cones appeared. No one was letting the poor man in. He was stuck. I was the nice one. But really, I was saying out loud, "I know you're embarrassed about what you've just done, sir. Go ahead. Go on. It's our little secret." I didn't even get a "thank you" hand wave. I hope he dies of embarrassment.